Ann Widdecombe is no fool and neither are the Strictly Come Dancing producers. The latter saved their star attraction’s much-trailed flight through the air until last tonight, ensuring viewers stayed glued to their screens to discover if those wires would snap.

Widdecombe, meanwhile, has a smart habit of getting in her self-deprecating digs before the judges can. She sweetly compared herself to Dumbo and remarked: "The Ark Royal has been decommissioned, so I thought I'd give you the Flying Fortress.

The best bitch-in-chief Craig Revel Horwood could do after that? “It was beautiful, light, ethereal – and then you landed.” Widdy shrugged that she was entertaining the audience, not them. Head judge Len Goodman agreed and said that, for entertainment, it was worth half the licence fee alone.

We wouldn’t go that far, but Widdecombe surely distracted from her dodgy footwork well enough to dance another day.

Elsewhere, apparently there was a ballroom competition going on. It was tangos or charlestons tonight, which meant most of the men wore trousers hitched higher than Simon Cowell, the Svengali of arch rival The X Factor. There were also lots of novelty props, a new and slightly naff innovation imported from the States for this series. Judge Alesha Dixon called everyone “babe”, regardless of sex or age.

Joint leadership is now shared by EastEnders hunk Scott Maslen, who performed a strongly dramatic tango, and Countryfile’s likeable Matt Baker. His Victorian muscleman moustache was daft but his Charleston, which randomly included a unicycle ride, rather dazzled. Baker can count himself unlucky not to be clear leader.

Down the bottom of the scoreboard? Now Paul Daniels is gone and Widdecombe’s status as this year’s John Sergeant assured, it was the usual suspects. Patsy Kensit flagged noticeably during her Charleston but reasoned, “I’m middle aged, darling.” Gavin Henson again hauled himself round the floor with all the grace of a wardrobe made of meat.

Peter Shilton, who seemed to be wearing his old goalkeeping gloves, resembled “a penguin stuck in the mud”, according to sweatily hysterical judge Bruno Tonioli.

One of this ungainly trio could follow Goldie and Daniels out of the competition tomorrow, while Widdecombe’s high-wire act should see her flying through to next week’s Halloween special. Old witch wisecracks await.